My tea had an awful reminder in the first sip which drove me to places in my head which i did not want to revisit. The words and moments that had chased after me for years and which i had struggled to bury somewhere within me were all now coming back.
I think this is how it happens. This is how it works. That you fall face down to the ground with all your charms and pride while your ego stands back and watches you. And then just when you think you’re back at it, back at life and ready to face all its rantings, everything decides to peak back telling you they were never gone.
And so it happened. All those wet pillow days and sobing moments came back hitting me right where they first did. Feelings, i tell you, are not to be played with. We try to control them ourselves and when we fail at it, we happily give it up to someone else to program it their way. To command it whatever way they find useful. And we just sit back and feel the riots within us at their maximum rage. And yet we never question or blame ourselves.
That day , although, those scars on my arms said otherwise.